Not Losing Hope

Results

Remember how excited I was yesterday and how I talk(write) about how today a series of events were suppose to happen and change my life forever and ever? Well, the events occurred and i guess they turn out somewhat good; but one of the two events kind of disappoint me  and heartbreak me for the rest of my life; probably I will, would look depress for the rest of the week  and weekend; but the worst that i will, would have to hide that depression for the rest of my life, I mean I'm always pretending to fit in, to be happy, to normal, and depression doesn't look normal in society.

What Happen or Wanted to Happen

First( you don't have to suppose to use the word first as a paragraph started or else you are not a good writer; luckily I don't flipping care), i declare to my best friend that I strongly trust that I'm Homosexual(Gay), she reacted OK I guess she accepted and promise me to keep it as a secret. That was more than perfect.

Second(not suppose to use second either), I declare to her that they GUY that I'm attracted to(my crush, my soul mate, the one that brings happiness to me, and even more) is her ex-boyfriend; again she didn't care and take it OK(they were in a relationship that literally lasted 3 F-ing days, and she did't like him; I mean she left him). So, 2 out of 3 things were perfect, so perfect. Oh, I almost forgot my friend guess who I was attracted to and she was right(she know me so much).

Thirdly(never use this one either), the horrible moment is here, finally what you all were waiting for. Well, the FORCE did help me(thanks you FORCE) to declare to that person that I'm still in love with. How he reacted? Fine I guess he didn't understand at first(so cute) and like was really confused and when he realized he just quote say this "No"(that NO break my life and hope, it shoot down the light that he once, still makes inside of my heart, soul and everything; I just wanted a YES and what do I get NO). What a NO a so important No; but the only good thing is that he promise to keep it as a secret for the rest of my friends, so i should be thankful for that. The day pass I feel like a piece of nothing at all; my head's freeze thinking and remembering that NO moment I mean why?

Finally(you could use this), I still have some expectations and hopes in love; but my first truly love is off the limits, is not his fault being who he is, I don't judge him I'm proud of him being him. I just wanted a chance an opportunity; but doors are closed for me, it seems like it.

Darkness can't exist without Light

Hope is still in me, because the way he reacted he take it so easy and smiled looked happy to me. So, there's hope for me I guess, I want to believe that(please let the hope hit me and open at least one opportunity). So, the happy, sincere, clear, positive, funny part of me goes in him forever and ever. I will, would have to learn to live like this, learn to be another; like a chameleon use camouflage for this live battle that only ends with death.So, tell me where or not you think it went good or bad; because I really don't know and I was right there.